


When Words Don't Work

by orphan_account



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-20
Updated: 2013-06-20
Packaged: 2017-12-15 14:53:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/850820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray could feel his pulse skip at those words, and stared at Gavin with wide eyes. All that left his mouth was a mumbled “Christ, Gavin…” before he moved forward, wrapping his arms around the other and pressing his face into his shoulder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Words Don't Work

There were times when Ray really wondered what was going on in Gavin’s head sometimes, in more than one way.

And that night, things had gone terribly wrong. He hated to admit it and wished it wasn’t true, but Gavin had well and truly struck a part of him that stung worse than any kind of cut or bruise ever would. What had begun as a petty argument shifted into something disgusting and ugly. Ray had said things he regretted, playing on the usual assumption that Gavin was a flirt and a mess when drunk. He even _knew_ that didn’t get to Gavin anymore, because despite what people thought – he _was_ faithful, which made Ray feel horrible to begin with. And yet any guilt he’d felt had been washed away and justified when Gavin reacted.

There must have been something in the water that day, because Gavin didn’t let it go. And what followed left Ray feeling dirtied and disappointed. But most of all, it was that searing hollowness that followed him when this happened. The idea he’d been let down. Or rather the misinformed assumption that Gavin didn’t love him, and that he saw nothing inside Ray that was worth the time. It was those little insecurities that plagued him every now and again in the recesses of a quiet night that opened him up so badly and that Gavin had chosen to pick on. All those intricate stitches the same Brit had sewn to keep Ray secure and confident seem to tear open, by those same hands. He couldn’t even dwell on it without anger and embarrassment bubbling up within him again.

But Gavin had surprised him that following day, and Ray would never forget it.

Gavin had left that night to stay at Geoff’s, leaving Ray to fitfully fall to sleep for lack of anything else to do. He couldn’t play games without getting frustrated, watch television without his mind drifting, he couldn’t even find the energy to get something to eat. Ray half expected Gavin to show up later that evening, but when it got to midnight, he knew the Brit wouldn’t be back. With moisture threatening his eyes and head and heart aching, he really hadn’t expected Gavin to be there when he woke up. And in theory, he kind of wasn’t. Ray still woke up to a painfully cold bed and an unnervingly quiet apartment. He dressed in silence, no television to fill the void at all and let his head stew in anger and resentment. And when he finally got round to eating, ready to leave, he _had_ been alone.

But as soon as he opened his front door, he nearly tripped and cursed at whatever had been placed outside his door. His stomach jolted in a painful mix of happiness and underlying irritation – when he realised it was Gavin blocking the door.

The Brit looked dazed as Ray practically kicked him, shuffling to the side and trying not to be knocked over.

   “Gavin, what the hell are you doing?”

   “Waiting, I guess.” Gavin’s voice sounded hoarse and his body seemed to shudder. How long had he been there?

   “Well move, I have to get to work.”

   “Ray, I’m sor-“

   “I don’t want to hear it. I need to go.”

   “But Ray-“

   “Look, go inside if you want, but I don’t have time for this right now.”

For some reason, Gavin didn’t move. He mumbled a response under his breath while shaking his head, moving away so Ray could reach the door. For a while, Ray seemed to hesitate, wondering what the hell Gavin was up to. Worry began to niggle at the back of his head as he stared down at Gavin’s downcast eyes and messy hair. Yet after a moments silence, he realised just how late he was running and didn’t even look at the Brit as he locked up. He was already late for work having been on the fence about phoning in sick he felt so lousy. But then he realised Gavin wouldn’t be in that day anyway, so he could cope. But as he went to work that morning, nothing played on his mind _more_ than Gavin. Thinking over and over again about the words he’d said, and how he’d turned up, sat there shivering with cold outside his doorstep, and wondered what the hell had gotten into that brain of his.

When Ray had a break in the middle of the day, he decided to have a quick visit home. He wasn’t in the mood to go out to eat and he needed to pick up a jacket anyway. But he knew there was a little more to it than that. He was still wondering if Gavin was sat there. He half expected not, but as he neared his front door – there he was. He looked unusually miserable, something that was rare to see from him the majority of the time. Sure, when they’d had petty arguments before Gavin tended to get a sort of annoyed face, but it was more like sulking. This was different, and it almost worried him. Ray stalled before he even made it to the door.

   “Gavin?”

The Brit jumped at that, moving his head up from where it rest against propped up knees.

   “Ray?” Gavin mumbled, shuffling to stand up and Ray noticed how tired he looked. The Brit tried to let a smile tug at his lips but the move faltered, his eyes seemed to hold nothing but nerves in them anyway. He could have had the biggest grin on his face, but the eyes would have tainted it.

   “What are you doing here?”

Gavin swallowed thickly before he answered. “I’ve been here all night.”

There was a tense silence as Ray watched Gavin, those green eyes flickering over him like he didn’t know what to do. For a moment, Ray felt his insides melt with fondness, and Gavin must have known because the hard light in his eyes faded, shuffling forward the slightest amount. And yet eventually, Ray’s serenity snapped as his head seemed to revel in the silence, drifting him back to those words and shouts like a curse. All he could hear was Gavin’s bitter voice from the night before. He moved past the Brit and unlocked his door, meekly, the Brit followed this time but knew the moment had been lost.

   “I won’t be staying. I just need a jacket.” Ray muttered rather coldly, seeing Gavin nod out of the corner of his eye. He was beginning to worry about this awful silence and sickening tension. It just wasn’t leaving. When they had arguments, they never lasted, but something told Ray they’d both made too big of a cut this time. He found himself shifting his gaze back and forth to Gavin as he shuffled around the room, trying to find his jacket. All the while, Gavin watched him. Trying to pluck up the courage to speak about what was wrenching his guts with guilt. The words never came.

He stood stiff as a board until Ray told him to leave, moving like a puppet on a set of strings and not even muttering a word as Ray left again. Gavin wondered if he should just go back to Geoff’s, but before he knew it, his back met the cold wood of Ray’s front door, sliding down to the floor smoothly. Call it self-pity or attention seeking, but if Gavin’s throat couldn’t form the words he tried to make the actions at least show _something_. So there he sat, his head aching and body growing cold from lack of a jacket. Taking out his phone, he sent a single text message to Ray and sunk further into his folded arms as his phone never rang with a reply.

Hours must have gone before Gavin ever shifted. He’d have stayed there for longer, if he hadn’t have found fingers running through his hair, making him jump for a minute until his green eyes snapped upwards to meet darker ones. For once, the cogs seemed to turn and Gavin’s thoughts seemed to trickle out from desperation.

   “Ray, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean any of it-“

   “It’s okay.” Ray muttered, though his eyes seemed wary, and Gavin picked up on it instantly, fingers clutching the other’s wrists to keep him crouched in front, eyes level.

   “It’s not, Ray. I’m such an idiot.” His words seemed to lose volume as he spoke, and Ray began to reel back, warm touch leaving Gavin’s freezing hands. The Brit took the chance and stood to his feet, blocking the doorway even if Ray made no move for the house just yet. “I didn’t mean _anything_ I said last night, Ray. None of it. I don’t know why I said them. I don’t.”

Gradually, Ray began to feel a weight lifting from his shoulders, and although the worries were still in his head, they were receding with each word Gavin spoke, and just the idea that he’d waited out here all day – just as a way of proving he was in the wrong, hit probably harder than the words ever would. Ray almost felt guilty that he wasn’t apologizing for the things he had spat back, but right now Gavin seemed adamant on ignoring it. There was an age of silence as Gavin stepped forward, fingers curling around one of Ray’s wrists loosely.

   “You’re not a waste of time, Ray. And I’d never be able to do better than you in a million years. I love you.”

Ray could feel his pulse skip at those words, and stared at Gavin with wide eyes. All that left his mouth was a mumbled _“Christ, Gavin…_ ” before he moved forward, wrapping his arms around the other and pressing his face into his shoulder. He couldn’t believe how cold Gavin felt, even more so as the Brit wrapped his arms tight around him, showing no signs of letting go.

   “How long have you been sat there?” Ray mumbled, a weak laugh filtering into his voice.

   “All day.” Gavin almost sounded embarrassed then as what he’d done almost hit him full force. He’d been surprised no one had approached him all day. He felt himself smile warmly though as Ray laughed in his ear, shaking his head.

   “You’re an idiot.”

   “I know.”

Ray sighed softly, the stress of that day seeming to slip away from him. He almost couldn’t remember what he’d been mad about. As time went on, he could feel Gavin begin to fidget and knew it was from anxiety. He didn’t have the energy to be mad anymore, and so pulled away, noticing Gavin’s slightly concerned expression before pulling him in for a gentle kiss, feeling Gavin relax and smile, but something still settled over both their chests and they knew the stitches weren’t exactly mended quite yet as strangely touching Gavin’s actions had been.

   “Promise you won’t do this again? You’re freezing.”

Gavin just smiled, and knew he couldn’t quite live up to that.

The next week he’d be waiting outside Ray’s door once, his unorthodox way as an apology, with the stitches reopened - whether he liked it or not.

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to reblog or like this fic on tumblr:
> 
> http://teaandotherstuff.tumblr.com/post/45292709968/when-words-dont-work


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